I was watching discovery channel on a damn hot and extremely humid Sunday. Why should I even go out on a day like this if I could spend the whole day by eating take-outs on a 22 nicely degree AC room and watch the re-runs I missed.
在一個極度熱還有你媽機掰潮濕的禮拜天，我決定待在家看discover channel。 我如果可以在一個22度剛剛好的冷氣房，吃著外帶、看著我平日錯過的重播節目，我何必要出門。
There's one program I've been watching for a long time, finally got a new episode.I do not know the english name of it. It's about the torture devices that were used in the ancient times. And they test it with modern science to see if the devices actually did or did not work like they said it would in back then. Most of them are pretty brutal, no humanity what so ever.
有個節目我已經看了很久，終於有一集新的了，"索命刑具"。在講古時候的虐待刑具，然後會用現代科學去測試是否真的可以像記載那樣的使用。大部分都滿殘忍的，完全泯滅人性。
One of them got my attention, not because it was really horrifying or very scary-movie-like. It's actually a bit funny, no offense here.
有一個吸引到我的注意，並不是因為很殘忍很血腥很像恐怖電影裡面會出現的情節。其實是有點好笑，但我沒有任何冒犯之意。
It is called the "Judas Chair". Victims were tied up and their a-holes were aimed directly on the pyramid. And umm, you know.
這個刑具叫做"猶大椅"。被害者/犯人被綑綁然後他們的屁眼會直接瞄準那個三角錐物體。其它我想...我不需要多做解釋。
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| http://www.listaholic.com/12-of-the-most-horrifying-torture-devices-in-history.html |
I drew it down right after i watched it, I can't afford of forgetting such interesting device.
我在看完後馬上把它畫下來，當然以免我忘記如此有趣的刑具。
Okay, here's the funny part. (no, I do not think their assholes being hurt by a pyramid thingy is funny, I'm still human.)
After they finish telling you how horrifying ,how non-humanity the ancient people were, they tell you those devices inspired the modern age device. Yes, how smart and how kind the modern age people are, kind my ass. (I'm sorry I'm cynical)
好，好笑的部份來了。(不，我不覺得屁眼被三角錐性侵很好笑，我還是人類) 在他們介紹古代人多麼殘忍多麼沒人性之後，他會跟你說這些古代刑具如何影響現代人去製作一些當今都會使用到的日常生活用具。對啊，現代人好聰明、好善良喔、好有人性。(現代人是太聰明了，不需要用任何器具去虐待你，簡單的用"腦袋"搞死你!!!!!) (對不起我很憤世忌俗)
That's right, the Judas chair inspired us to make a fucking juice maker. I find it very disgusting in a way, but still funny.
嗯，猶大椅給我們製作榨果汁機的靈感。我覺得很噁心、但還是覺得很好笑。
I just can't stop thinking about human's a-holes inspired this. I'm really curious what happened back then, did anyone's a-hole actually produce some liquid out??? Now my ass feels really juicy.
我很好奇，他們以前使用那個刑具的時候，是有榨出什麼汁嗎，或是犯人當時嚇慘了噴尿，或是把肛門破壞到已經無法正常使用所以導致會噴屎出來的狀況嗎?
Anyways, it was still a very very very nice Sunday. And now I'm dying for some fresh orange juice.
那天還是個很美好很美好很美好的禮拜天。然後我現在好想喝柳橙汁。
