The Cat In The Hat reality edition.

This is The Cat In The Hat by Dr.Seuss.

"Put me down!" said the fish.

This is no fun at all!"

"Put me down!" said the fish.

"I do NOT wish to fall!" 

This is how The Cat In The Hat looks like in our magical world.

"Put me down!" said the bitch.

"This is no fun at ALL!"

"Put me down!" said the bitch.

"Your ____ is too SMALL!" 

I would call this The Cat Is Too Fat.

Reality edition.